super-duper NinjaCulture FAQ! (circa late 2003)
is the part of the site where I try to convince
myself that this mess is actually worth something.
Answering your questions comes second! NO OTHER
most common question I get when explaining the
site to other people is: What is it
Autobot Arcee looks interested. This is
because she is reading NinjaCulture!
one of those nostalgia places, but not done
very well" - Doctor "Doc"
Emmit L. Brown
lord. I'm a guy in my twenties and if I were
to answer this question truthfully I would probably
end up in a dumpster somewhere. The truth is
that this is a website based on my life and
the cool things that surround it. Nathan is
along for the ride. It's only too bad I think
that McDonald's commercials from the mid-80s
are cool, and Arcee is hot. Y'know, for a robot.
This isn't to say that I write about the day
to day mundane shit that everyone goes through;
I'll leave that to people with blogger accounts.
now don't you want to shove me into a dumpster?
I know I do. I'm a guy stuck in my childhood;
I know that some other people are too. There
is at least some solace in knowing that.
it supposed to be funny?
words and cursing isn't funny? Shit!
I was just assuming you were laughing. If it's
funny, that's great. But I like to think that
I don't really try. The fifty spelling errors
per page are kinda funny, if you think about
retro pop-culture fanatic and internet superstar.
Pictured above: Shawn Desman.
Inventor of the written word. You have him
to thank for this literary disaster.
people start to wonder, is NinjaCulture
an 80s site?
NinjaCulture is a personal site. Some
people called it e/n, and some people call it
complete self-indulgence. I like neither. It's
a personal site. Something like you'd see on
Geocities but with Hollywood production value.
I just so happened to grow up in the 80s and
like a lot of things that come from that decade.
But it's not limited to the 80s. If I find something
interesting I'll probably write about it.
then there's Nathan. While I don't really
know what fuels his writing, I do know that
he's actually studying to be a writer. That's
a hell of a lot more than I'm doing.
is it that you guys never update?
While it's true that we've been known
to go for a while without writing, we've always
come back to the site. The site has been going
for awhile, and now we're in an interesting
and unique position to produce the best articles
we can and know that there's an audience. So
I'm looking forward to regular updates in the
future. I think everyone has at one point or
another needed a break from the Internet. It's
wild, crazy, and full of people interested in
telling you who they are fucking, and sometimes
it's not a who.
the fact that we've only got two people writing
for the site makes it hard to get an article
out every week. We've gotta write around jobs,
university, and life. This isn't a complaint,
I love what we're doing here, but it is harder
to get stuff done some weeks.
(insert better site here) cover (insert article
subject here) already?
I dunno. Did
they? That's cool. For awhile I was trying to
write about things that no one else had on their
site. This is impossible. There are far too
many sites to be writing about something that
no one else has that I've stopped caring about
are you so incredibly wrong, you cock-chugger!?
If you're talking
about my opinions on certain things, then that's
great. We shouldn't all have the same view on
everything. If you're mad at a joke, send me
an e-mail, but I'll probably just make fun of
you anyway. If something is factually incorrect,
like if I said that the Ninja Turtles were pink
or some shit like that, call me on it. I like
to research the crap out of my topics before
I start writing, but I can still be wrong. And
there's no need for that kind of language. Everyone
knows I like to savor the cock.
I write for NinjaCulture?
No. Trying to coordinate two people
on one site is enough work. In fact, there is
only one other person that has written for the
site besides Nathan or yours truly. I was gonna
link that article here, but I think it would
be more fun for you to go find it yourself.
While we are open to collaborative efforts,
the chances are mighty slim we'll post something
that you've written.
I've got a site! Can you guys link me?
Well, that's really covered on the
links page and I have
no time to waste on that here.
didn't you link my site?
There are probably
a couple of reasons, the first being that your
site could very well suck. Secondly, we usually
have a bunch of link swaps going at any given
time, and while we haven't been pursuing this
type of promotion lately, it's not the easiest
list to get on anymore.
I get in contact with you?
Sure, just e-mail
me or message
me on AIM. I love hearing from people. When
I get e-mails and I find out that they're not
spam, it makes my day.
this last one is for Conrad:
What is up with those really bright
side-bars on the new 2004 design?
They're classy, bitch.
are all the questions that I can think of that
people have asked me. If you're into Transformers
and reruns of Fresh Prince, I think we'll get
along just fine. If you like pretentious talk
about existentialism and critiquing fine art
while wearing back turtle-necked sweaters two
sizes too small, you might as well just move
along because you're no fun. Doodie-head.