| Wow,
it's been awhile since the last round of Really Terrible Ideas.
With the new P2P networks that all the kids are into these
days, Internet Thievery has reached an all time high. It should
only be a matter of time before the popularity of stealing
reaches such a point that MP3s and videos are no longer traded
on these illicit networks - no, the time shall come when ideas
themselves are sent back and forth like so many VBScript
viruses.
Of
course, the driving point of the Really Terrible Ideas articles
is prevention of just such a future. How best to prevent your
precious ideas from being pilfered right out from under you?
Simple - release only your ideas that are so bad,
they're completly unusable! Observe!
[7]
The LP-ROM!
The
average disc drive has evolved quite a bit over the years.
We've come a long way from the early days of painfully slow
CD-ROM drives (did anyone else ever have a tray-loader?) to
today, where people are quickly and effortlessly burning their
own DVDs to play in their flying cars on the way to their
secret bases on Mars. Well, maybe we haven't gotten that far,
but don't think it isn't coming.
But
with every advancement, of course, comes a hardcore group
of Nostalgiaphiles who complain about not being able to experience
the way things were in the 'good old days'. Enter the LP-ROM
- combining the technology you use every day with the technological
marvels of the past. Using the power of Science, your favorite
new games, music, and movies are now available on several
LPs! Who needs a CD-ROM that can spin a disc at 9,000 rotations
per minute when you can hurtle along at an awesome, old-school
45? Plus, given the right technical know-how and a little
patience, you too can learn to be a "Data DJ"! Serve
up funky-fresh mixes of your favorite programs for your 'hip'
friends! Word!
[8]
Communism - The Game!
Do
you think that the current state of the real-time strategy
genre is lacking something? Are you done playing games that
favor unfair, 'strength-in-sheer-numbers' gameplay? Those
days are soon to be over, because there's one game on the
horizon that will overshadow all the Warcrafts and Command
& Conquers of today - Communism, The Game!
Yes,
it's a game by the people and for the people - no capitalist
swine here! The only units you get during levels are the ones
allotted to you by the Mother Country. If it should occur
that your troops are defeated in battle, don't worry - just
get ready to stand in the longest lineup of your life to get
more! (And pick up a loaf of bread while you're at it.)
You
may as well forget about building structures and harvesting
resources, as well - your unmotivated and poor workers won't
have any reason to follow the orders you give them, because
you've got no way to pay them as a reward! Yes, this game
will truly revolutionize the way we think about real-time
strategy.
[9]
Single-Port Switches!
Are
you tired of the little icon in Windows that says "a
network connection has been unplugged"? Or maybe you
just long for that great feeling of connectedness you get
from plugging into a switch. Well, your days of worry and
angst will soon be over, thanks to the One-Port Switch!
The
single port may not allow for networking with any of your
friends, but it sure will get rid of that icon, and hey -
doesn't it just make the most satisfying click when you plug
a cable into it? Truly, this invention will save lives.
And
so we bring the third round-up of terrible ideas to a conclusion.
I know, normally I say that I come up with these terrible
ideas so that nobody will steal them - but looking back, I
think it'd be pretty amusing to see a Communist real-time
strategy game hit the markets. Anyone up for making one? Let
me know if you do... |
